The past month has been a whirlwind for me. I flew to Portland to watch my daughter graduate high school, and I just returned from a trip to Seattle to watch my cousin tie the knot. Witnessing these significant life events have forced me to reflect on beginnings – and endings – and what advice, if any, I would pass along to these young, bright women.
Writing my daughter’s graduation card, I took a long pause. Before I cluttered it with my own feelings about what she should do or what I thought about what she did do, I managed to check myself and realize none of that matters. I wanted to carefully word my sentiments to give her all the credit for her choices. I’m not sure I was able to completely remove myself from my words to her, but I tried my best to remove any words that would imply judgement and stick to sentiments that support her freedom of choice. After all, she chose to finish high school. She chose to put in the work to get done on time, with her friends. It was all her doing, not anyone else’s.
For my cousin’s wedding, well…I’m still stuck on that one. I’m utilizing the “you have a year to send a gift” loophole and really taking my time. She wants advice and thoughts from older friends and family – advice about marriage and life and whatnot. Honestly, my first road block that flew up was, “Who am I to give her any advice? I got divorced!” Nobody has a crystal ball. We can only be about as helpful as a Magic 8 Ball.
What I’ve learned in my 43 years is that the most important thing one can do is stay creative. Create the world, the job, the life, the home, the experiences you want. Being creative does not necessarily mean you are artistic. Being creative means you’re participating in your growth. I think this is the best thing anyone – at any age or stage – can do for themselves. Stay true to you, and create you. Let go of wanting any other person to do it for you, or be who you want them to be.
With much love, light and gratitude,